8 Steps Towards Becoming The Leader You Need To Be To Succeed

An important part of success in life is the ability to lead. It is important that we not only be able to lead others but be willing to lead ourselves. No one succeeds in life by simply following others. Sometimes we simply must strike a bold new path for ourselves.

Being a good leader is more than simply being at the forefront of the crowd. A leader must act. Too often in America, we simply accept that someone looks or sounds like a leader and too rarely do we actually look at the actions that leader performs -- and that is the true test of leadership.

However, in order to become good leaders ourselves, we need to concentrate on actions rather than simple appearances. The title of this article refers to eight steps, but do not think of these as progressive steps like so many recipes or instruction manuals describe. Instead, think of these as actions that you must take on a regular basis.

First, be alert to new potentials. "Reality" is not absolute but rather subject to constant change. Think about inventors, explorers, and agents of social change who have achieved greatness. Some might simply say that certain people are successful because they are lucky to be in the right place at the right time. Maybe so, but if they hadn't had their eyes open for the opportunity, then it wouldn't have mattered if they were in the right place.

Second, accept inspiration from wherever it comes; even your opponents. The wisest leaders constantly study their competition. In war, politics, and business we constantly see examples of this research and reconnaissance. Too many times though a certain study, many concentrate on finding a weakness to exploit. If you want to a be a leader of positive change don't fall victim to this trend. Instead, if you find a weakness, make sure to avoid that pitfall yourself. If you find the strength then find a way to strengthen your own qualities to match.

Third, learn something new and promote in new ways every day. This means you must continually seek to expand your horizons, internally and externally. Feed your mind with new lessons and knowledge, but constantly expand your social horizons as well. Seek out and meet new people and immerse yourself in new social situations. You never know when these new experiences will help you in your leadership role.

Fourth, search for and find answers in subtle clues. Look beneath the surface and constantly question. This is an extension of the third step in that you are seeking new knowledge. But this also means that you will need to step off the traditional paths of knowledge. Don't simply read books in the literary canon or the bestsellers list. Take seminars rather than classes as there is more room for questioning and debate. Seek out the unconventional thinkers, teachers, and writers.

Fifth, improvise if no existing solutions are available. No excuses. Necessity is the mother of invention. How do you know it won't work if you've never tried it before? Remember, not all approaches need to come from the front. Look at your problem from all sides and systematically attempt different solutions in various combinations.

Six, make at least one person you care about happy every day. If you make it a point to be thoughtful and caring for one person every day then soon this thoughtful, caring behavior will become a habit and that habit will spread to the others around you. Making someone else happy also feeds your own personal happiness. Just imagine how much better the world would be if we all did a little bit more to spread happiness.

Seven, offer help, even if there's no apparent advantage to you. This means more than writing a check. It means giving of your time and energy and yourself. Sometimes it will mean helping someone you don't know and sometimes it can be a very personal action.

Finally, never let negativity be your last word on the subject. If your final words are negative than no matter how hopeful you may be about the potential of a project or action the lasting impression you give to others is one of negativity. Accentuate the positive and you are more likely to see a positive outcome.

If you follow these eight action steps not only you will be a better leader but also lead yourself to a more successful life.

The Truth About Hypnosis

Hypnosis can be a mystical subject. Many hypnotists shroud it in an almost metaphysical aura. This can add power to the process in many ways. However, there are many people who are not receiving the benefits of hypnosis merely because they do not understand it and are fearful of its use. In this article I have outlined some basic fundamentals of the subject so that after reading it you can make a more informed choice as to whether it is right for you or not.

Hypnosis is older than you can imagine. It has been used for thousands of years. Hypnosis, or more accurately trance, is a completely natural state of mind which you move in and out of everyday. It is, in effect, an altered state of consciousness. You are neither asleep nor are you completely conscious or wide awake. A common illustration of this can be seen in the simple act of watching a movie. If you are enjoying the movie then, albeit only temporarily, your conscious mind stops processing your immediate surroundings as you emerse yourself in the world that is being presented to you on the screen. If you did not enter into a light state of trance while watching such programmes they would not give the pleasure they do. You must "lose yourself" in the characters believing them to be real people in order for the film and plot to be entertaining. We all know how bad a film is when we just can't make a connection with the characters, so we just don't find them convincing - the movie loses its hypnotic power and no longer becomes entertaining! Hypnotic trance is really just a state of deep relaxation which creates, what are called alpha and sometimes theta waves in the brain. Sometimes a subject can be in a fairly deep state of trance without even knowing it, they merely think they are very relaxed. In very rare cases the subject thinks they just fell asleep!

Everyone can be hypnotized. However, all forms of Hypnosis are really self hypnosis. For in order to be hypnotized you must first be willing to hand over control to the hypnotist. Without consensual participation from a subject a hypnotist is virtually powerless. Having said that, it is extremely difficult to hypnotise a person who is very drunk, or has taken drugs (these people are already in a self-induced state of trance and directing them into a different altered state becomes almost impossible). In addition it is impossible to hypnotize someone who is adamant they don't want to undergo hypnosis!

Hypnotherapy is a very specific form of hypnosis mostly used by health care professionals. As hypnosis is an extremely powerful tool for gaining access to the subconscious mind many emotionally created illnesses can be treated with hypnotherapy. In fact, as the medical profession becomes more aware of the role the mind plays in illness and healing, they have that some physical ailments, such as warts and skin disorders like eczema, can be successfully treated with hypnosis. Simply stated Hypnotherapy is an alternative therapy that uses hypnosis as a catalyst for creating inner change in a patient that may take months or even years of traditional therapy techniques.

Hypnosis is completely safe! It is just an efficient quick method for entering a deep relaxed, natural state of mind and body. There are no drugs involved, no unpleasant nor unwanted side-effects and it is in no way addictive. You just need a comfortable chair, couch or bed, a willingness to relax and let-go and a trained professional or professional recording to listen to.

You are always in control of yourself before, during and after a hypnosis session. If you are a particularly "good subject" you may forget the experience afterwards but during the hypnosis session you are always aware of what is happening! You cannot be made to do nor say anything that is against your moral or ethical codes not matter what Hollywood may tell you in "The Manchurian Candidate"! You will be able to hear everything that is being said to and everything that is happening around you. There are many people who actually become very sensitive to their environment. Their 5 senses become heightened and they are even more aware of the smallest of details while in trance. Of course you go back to normal upon "wakening".

The vast majority of people remember everything that was said to them by the therapist when the hypnosis session is over. In fact it's a pretty good bet to say that everyone who reads this article will be in that group.

It is the job of a hypnotherapist to make you feel comfortable before, during and after a session so if, at anytime, you feel uncomfortable with what the therapist is doing or saying tell them to stop! In order to get the most from any hypnosis session you must be able to relate to the hypnotist or hypnotherapist and trust them. For this reason all reputable hypnosis professionals give a free consultation before you ever enter a trance state. Seek out a hypnotist you feel comfortable with and who makes you feel that they can get the results that you are looking for - after all you are in charge!

Hypnosis is merely a tool. It is a highly effective method for producing inner change that is permanent. I can understand that some religions forbid their followers to take part in anything that may cause them to lose control of their mental, emotional and conscious functions but believing that hypnosis or a hypnotist can do any of these things is just a misunderstanding of the process. Hypnosis in no way interferes with your free will. You will not do anything that is against your ethics. Under no circumstances will you ever do anything that is totally unacceptable to you or goes against your personal code of conduct. Neither will you do anything that is against your moral code or which feels wrong to do. If strutting around like a chicken would cause you serious embarrassment then you just won't do it!

There is no danger of becoming trapped in a trance state. This is another Hollywood myth designed for entertainment purposes and has absolutely no basis in fact. The real fact is, you can terminate the hypnotic session at any time you wish just by opening your eyes and stretching! If a hypnotist, for any reason, were to leave you in a hypnotised state or a hypnotic recording stopped unexpectedly, you would either wake immediately or fall into a natural, light state of sleep and wake after a very short space of time - and this would only happen if you wanted to stay in the relaxed state!

The cost of hypnosis and hypnotherapy vary depending on your location, the popularity of the therapist, and the length and nature of the sessions you wish to purchase. Don't go for the cheap option! Visit a few hypnosis centers. Take the free consultation. these consultations are designed so that you can make a choice as to whether the hypnotist is the right person for you or not. Its his/her job to convince you of that. A good start is to experience hypnosis through a carefully chosen tape, CD or MP3. By using a pre-made recording you can experience, in the comfort of your own home or office, the relaxing meditative state of trance and see whether it is for you or not!

Change Up! - Attitude Is Everything

"Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact." - William James
Attitude is everything. I know that you've heard this before and either agreed or disagreed. Either way, you were confirming its truth. Attitude is a filter for everything going into your mind and everything coming out of your mind. Right now, I have no idea what you are thinking because your attitude is unique to you.

It's not a matter of having a bad or good attitude. Everyone's attitude is influenced by so many thoughts at one time that it is almost inevitable that your attitude is always a mixture of positive and negative words and images. While most people speak at 150 to 200 words per minute, research suggests that we think at about 1,300 words per minute. Additionally, many of our thoughts are images, which could encompass thousands of words at once.

Like Herding Cats. I know this seems a bit overwhelming at the moment, but if you stick with me, it will become clear. As with most complex issues, there are many causes and variations within the issues. There can literally be thousands of permutations with any issue. However, as Dr. Phil said on a recent show, "while the problems are complex, the solutions are simple".
Don't Yell at the Computer. What I'm about to write may shock you, but here goes. There are really only three emotions: love, anger, and fear. Love draws you toward something, anger pits you against something, and fear chases you away from something. All of your feelings are a combination of these three emotions. Whether you're happy, sad, worried, anxious, depressed, afraid, or content, these feelings all stem from these emotions.

This is good news. If we can understand what's driving our thoughts, then we can change them. When you make a decision, you can trace that decision back to your thoughts at the time you were deciding. Even though you may not be aware, you are always talking to yourself. Some of you just said to yourself, "no I'm not".

The way to change your behavior is to change your attitude. To change your attitude, you must separate the stimulus from the response. Unlike animals, humans have the ability to choose their response to any situation. There is a space, even though it can be milliseconds at times, that we may choose how to react in every situation. Many people allow their subconscious to make these decisions, which is why they feel so out of control. We can take back control.

"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.
Attitude, to me is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company ...a church ...a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past ...we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way.

We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude ...I am convinced that life is 10hat happens to me and 90ow I react to it. And so it is with you ...we are in charge of our attitudes." - Charles Swindoll

Addiction to Self-Judgment

“I’m such a jerk. How could I have said that?”“I’m a looser. I’ll never get anywhere.”“I’m so stupid. I should have learned this by now.”“I don’t fit in. I don’t belong with these people.”“I’ll never be good enough. I’ll never do it right enough.”“I’m permanently emotionally damaged. I’ll never be okay.”“No one could love me. I’m not lovable.”
…and so on and so on.

Are you aware of your self-judgments? Are you aware of how often you judge yourself as bad, wrong, or inadequate? Are you aware of how you end up feeling as a result of your self-judgments?

In my counseling work with people, I find that self-judgment is one of the major causes of fear, anger, anxiety and depression. Yet most people don’t realize that these painful feelings are the result of their own thoughts, their own self-judgments. Most of the time, when I ask an anxious client why they are feeling anxious, they tell me that it’s because of something that happened to them. They usually believe that an event or a person caused their anxiety. Yet when I ask them what they are thinking that might be causing their anxiety, they will tell me a self-judgment such as, “I’ll never get this right,” or they are projecting their own judgment onto me and telling themselves, “Margaret doesn’t like me,” or “Margaret is getting impatient with me.” When they judge themselves or make up that I’m judging them, they get anxious. There is nothing actually happening that is causing their anxiety, other than their own thoughts.

Pointing out to them that they are causing their anxiety with their self-judgment doesn’t not necessarily stop the judgment. This is because self-judgment is often an addiction. An addiction is a habitual behavior that is intended to protect against pain. What is the pain that self-judgment is intended to protect against?
Generally, the hope of self-judgment is to protect against rejection and failure. The false beliefs are that, “If I judge myself, then others won’t judge me and reject me. I can be safe from others’ judgment by judging myself first,” or “If I judge myself, I can motivate myself to do things right and succeed. Then I will feel safe and be loved and accepted by others.”

However, just as a child does far better in school with encouragement than with criticism, so do we as adults. Criticism tends to scare and immobilize us. Instead of motivating us, it often creates so much anxiety that we get frozen and become unable to take appropriate action for ourselves. More self-judgment follows the lack of action, which results in more anxiety and immobilization, until we create a situation where we are completely stuck and miserable.
The way out of this is to become aware of the feelings of fear, anxiety, anger or depression and then ask yourself, “What did I just tell myself that is creating this feeling?”

Once you become aware of the self-judgment, you can then ask yourself, “Am I certain that what I am telling myself is true?” If you are not 100% certain that what you are telling yourself is true, you can ask your higher, wise self or a spiritual source of wisdom, “What is the truth?” If you are really open to learning about the truth, the truth will pop into your mind, and it will be much different than what you have been telling yourself.

For example, “I’m such a jerk. How could I have said that?” becomes “We all mess up at times. It’s okay to make mistakes - it’s part of being human. Making a mistake does not mean that you are a jerk.” When we open to the truth, we will discover a kind and compassionate way of speaking to ourselves, a way that makes us feel loved and safe rather than anxious, angry or depressed.

Addictions are always challenging to resolve, and an addiction to self-judgment is no exception. So be easy on yourself, and don’t judge yourself for judging yourself! It will take time and dedication to become aware of your self-judgments and learn to be kind toward yourself, but the end result is so worth the effort!